


Words, Sound, Song and Voice

by thedragontheprincessthewriter



Series: The Journals of Mandy Milkovich [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 11:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3247481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedragontheprincessthewriter/pseuds/thedragontheprincessthewriter





	Words, Sound, Song and Voice

She never knew she had a voice. She never knew she had a voice, but it's five a.m. now, and she's on a rooftop singing.

She's never seen a sunrise either. She knows, incredible at her age, and it is not at all like she imagined it would be.

She thought she'd be with Lip. Or Ian. Maybe even Mickey. But she's alone. She's lost.

_What are you looking for, Mandy? If you're looking for something, you can never be lost._

_I am looking to be more than the waitress at the Waffle House_ , is the first thought that pops into her mind.

The sun and the moon are on the sky at the same time. A couple of stars, too. None is as bright as she imagined they would be, and the sky is some sort of indistinct gray shade.

She pictures herself at a bar, wearing a slinky silver dress, singing something. Like one of those Hollywood Golden Age divas, except grimier, more broken. Or maybe just as broken, who knows.

Her voice rings out, powerful, and she wonders why no one ever told her she could sing. _Maybe because you never did it_ , a voice inside her clamors loudly, like it's demanding to be heard.

She remembers humming, while making pancakes in the kitchen, and Mickey telling her to shut up, but Ian looking at her fondly. “Sing something.”

“Oh, fuck no, Ian,” Mickey groans. “Why?”

“I already am,” Mandy says.

“No, you're humming. Sing.”

Mandy opens her mouth but realizes she doesn't know any songs. Music has never been a part of her life. She gapes at both of them, like a fish under water, sound stuck in her throat.

She doesn't have to say anything, Ian knows.

_Don't worry about it, Mandy. You'll find your words._

She never believed she would. Not until the morning she left with Kenyatta, and Mickey pressed a wad of bills to the palm of her hand. “You get away from him as soon as you get the chance,” he whispers in her ear, his eyes like blue fire.

She'll never know where he got the cash, but finds herself reluctant to spend it, thinking behind each one of those bills there is a story, maybe Mickey stealing something, maybe Ian giving a lap dance.

And yet his words keep ringing in her head. _As soon as you get the chance._ _The chance, the chance, the chance_.

That's when it dawns on her. She has a chance now. Her life is being rewritten to the sound of new music. 

  



End file.
